April is a busy month around here. Both of our children’s birthdays are in April, only 3 days apart.
Well, one year and 362 days apart.
We celebrated Caroline’s birthday on Sunday, and today is Mac’s special day.
And every year around birthday time, I find myself looking at photos, and my heart is overjoyed.
And heavy.
I loved being pregnant. I loved everything about it. And being that Mac is my first child, I would talk to him from the very moment I found out I was pregnant.
I would hug my belly.
I would ask him what he felt like eating; if he wanted any juice.
I would cherish every kick, and I couldn’t wait to hear his little breath in my ear.
The day before Mac was due, I found out he was growth restricted. He hadn’t grown in 2 weeks. He needed to come out immediately. My doctor stripped my membranes and Sean immediately drove me to the hospital.
When Mac was born, full term, he weighed only 5 pounds, 2 ounces. He had a low blood sugar, low calcium, and a high bilirubin.
And for some reason, we were discharged 48 hours later, only to return, via ambulance, 3 hours after we had gotten home.
Mac’s breathing was intermittent, and his temperature had fallen to 96 degrees. And I remember sitting in the ambulance with Sean and Mac, looking out the back window at my best friend driving right behind us, reassuring me, blowing me kisses.
I was clutching Mac’s teeny hand saying “Stay with me, Sweet Boy. Stay with me.”
Once Mac was stabilized in the E.R., he was transferred up to the NICU, where we were met by a wonderful doctor who kindly told us that Mac would need to be in his own room in the NICU as he was considered contaminated by leaving the hospital, then returning. The NICU became our home for the next 10 days.
He was hooked up to several tubes; received 2 EEG’s, 2 EKG’s, 2 spinal taps and a series of other extensive X-rays. At first, the doctors were doubtful that Mac would make it. He suffered seizures and other imbalances.
Sweet Boy persevered. He started getting stronger. I was so afraid that since he was away from the other babies that he wouldn’t get as much attention, but I was wrong. He stole the nurse’s and doctor’s hearts. The nurses dressed him in cozy sweaters with matching hats. Colored him a special picture and hung it on his door. And Mac went from his life being in question, to he gets to go home.
And it hasn’t been an easy road for him. Things that are found to be easy for a main-streamed child are very difficult for Mac. All gross motor skills are a challenge.
But he is a happy child. And healthy.
He’s a day dreamer, just like his Mama.
His imagination sores.
More than anything, he works so hard at everything. Hard work is all he knows.
And he is happy.
Because of his determination and willingness to chance, he is my inspiration.
He inspired me to chair an annual triathlon raising over $200,000 for the NICU, and he helped me cross the finish line.
I look in his eyes and I see determination. And promise. And an eager heart.
It is Mac’s undeterred strength that pushed me to follow my dream, and start my blog.
With every year that passes, Mac gets stronger and smarter. His heart is so true and innocent, and that warms this Mama’s heart.
And with that, I will sign off today with a song that Mac and I sing together every night.
You are my Sunshine, my only Sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my Sunshine away.
Happy Birthday my Sweet Boy.
I love you.
KariAnne Wood says
Brooke,
Oh sweet friend. What a testimony. What a wonderful, incredible, amazing difference you are making.
I am honored to know you and the awesome mother that you are.
Happy birthday, Mac!
karianne
Brooke Fedigan says
KariAnne, thanks again for stopping by and checking in on our little guy. He was excited to hear you wishing him a Happy Birthday! Hope you had an amazing weekend.
xoxo
Brooke
grandma says
ilove him so much and remeber his fight for life like it was yesterday i hope he has a perfectly happy day today
Brooke Fedigan says
Pat, he did have a wonderful day! And, was sad to cancel last Monday, but looking forward to tomorrow.
coco says
Brooke, I was holding it together until I saw the two of you running across the finish line and then I couldn’t fight the tears any longer. You are one amazing lady with one amazing son. I know you’re so proud of all that he’s accomplished. He’s such a cutie. I hope his birthday was a special day, Coco
Betsy says
This is one of the most beautiful blogs I have ever read. Thank you so very much!
Brooke Fedigan says
Betsy, thank you so much! He really is the most loving little boy.
Brooke
Trish says
Happy birthday to Mac! What a beautiful post!
Brooke Fedigan says
Trish, thank you so much! He has had the best week. Loves being 11.
Brooke
JeanH says
I haven’t been on FB much lately so I hadn’t taken time to read this blog until now and all I can say is you sure have a way with words Brooke AND a beautiful son!
Brooke Fedigan says
Jean, you are so kind. Thank you for checking out my story about Mac. He really is an amazing little guy.
Brooke
Daniel MacElveen says
I know I haven’t known Mac long (and am a little late to the comment section), but i know that every word in this masterfully written blog could not be more accurate. I have the pleasure of coaching Mac on the Dolphins Swim Team and he has made leaps and bounds since starting this year. You can see on his face the determination and hear the enthusiasm in his voice every time he enters the pool. Thank you Mrs. Fedigan for turning me onto your blog and this article, and thank you for sharing your gift and joy, Mac, with me.
Christy says
What a sweet connection you have with your son. You must be proud of the man he is turning into.
Kate Shelby says
Beautiful post! I can sort of relate as my son who turns 10 this year was born with a tumour. Developmental milestones have been a challenge. Good to see your son is doing well!
Jen says
Well written, thank you for sharing, I will go finish crying now. <3
Marjan says
He is a beautiful child, such a touching story, I have tears in my eyes…
Kathryn Heavenissmilingabove says
Thanks for making me cry sweet tears tonight. I think I’ll stick around and look at your other posts. Coming from Blogging on Your Own Terms FB group. 🙂
Brent Warberg says
Brooke, what a wonderful treat for you, Mac, Sean and Caroline. You are a wonderful family, driven by love and understanding. Mac has been a driving force for all of you. and Caroline has always been there for her brother. The four Fedigans, a super family. See you soon, Love, Daddy
Ashley says
This is so so sweet! I think this would have made me tear up without my pregnancy hormones, but considering my first is due in 5 days I think it hits home a little harder. You have a beautiful family and I’m so glad he persevered 😀
Thanks for sharing with us at From The Archives Friday!