Keeping Fed is always a favorite post for me to write. I get to showcase all kinds of inspiration that I have stumbled upon that given month, whether it’s blog posts of others, beautiful photography, or catching my readers up on the happenings around here. I love to share. I love to give.
Giving fulfills me. It truly does. In my heart, when I give, it’s like I receive a cherished present in return. In my eyes, there’s nothing better. A sweet salvation, if you will.
On the other hand, I’m a planner. A planner to a fault. A type A, organizer, planner with the best intentions, best ideas, all with high expectations of myself. No safety net in case I fall.
I tend to take on too much, thinking I can plan out the action, but the minute I’m needed elsewhere, I drop everything. I wouldn’t have it any other way. This is how I roll. Though because of this, I’ve gotten myself into a bit of a pickle.
This is where giving and planning collide.
Our 1820 requires a lot of work. Please don’t mistake this as a regret, but rather a labor of love. I’ve created a business out of fixing up this old farmhouse, and honestly, it’s my favorite job I’ve ever had. This house is my therapy.
But I’ve taken on too much. I have too many open-ended projects that leave me feeling anxious. Makes me twitch. The planner/organizer in me needs everything in its place and right now, the 1820 is upside down. We have a couch in our kitchen that has been there since March as the den project has written new meaning of “behind schedule.” We recently dealt with a plumbing issue that has been resolved, but the aftershocks are still being felt. I guess you could say since I’m such a giver, I robbed Peter to pay Paul. I stooged myself on time and put off what needed to get completed.
I’ve done a lot of soul searching this past month and came to the conclusion that I am the one that needs to be fed. The word that keeps appearing in my mind and in my heart, is Focus. I need to buckle down and complete what I have opened. I need to say “no.” A word that is so foreign to me, but will only be for a little while, just so I can regain my clarity and my verve. Stamina is not overrated.
So clearly this month, Keeping Fed is not its usual post. My husband is going to shutter when he sees that I have no links to share; a blog post not worthy of Pinterest nor Instagram. But I needed to write this post to keep me fed. And too, I wanted to bring all of you up to speed, on my lack of speed. Every once in a while, I need to recognize that I’m only human.
Good things are on the horizon, this I promise you. I have a lot of exciting projects planned, naturally, that I can’t wait to get started on and share with all of you. But first, I need to put my blinders on and close some doors before I open new ones.
Stay with me, my loves. I’m just going to take a little time off, but not too much. I’m going to buckle down and work on getting the 1820 right side up.
Patience is a virtue. (wink)